March 5, 2002


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Switzerland declared a terrorist nation

Washington
The White House announced today that it is adding Switzerland to the list of nations supporting terrorism. "We have already warned all nations that they are either with us or against us", stated the White House spokesman, Ari Fleischer. "Despite repeated requests for 100 troops or $10 million, the Swiss have refused to co-operate", he continued. The White House has not yet decided what action to take against the European nation, but an insider, speaking on condition of anonymity, told American Post that military action has not been ruled out.

In a further development, Al-Qaeda has issued a communique declaring war on Switzerland. "We hate the freedom and democracy in Switzerland", according to the text, "and are determined to put an end to it as soon as possible. After the defeat of Switzerland we will attack Iceland, since it is the world's oldest democracy."


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